Hello?! REALITY CHECK PLEASE.

It isn't the same anymore, from when we started. It seems that time and environment has changed me a whole lot. Living in a fast pace city is so much more difficult than what most people think. The way I think, its all so different now that I'm able to see things in a bigger picture..somehow dont have the time to think of all the petty things that really don't necessary matter that much.

Hrmm, it's definitely different with him now. The conversations I prefer to have aren't all that mushy anymore and I'm more straight to the point. I can't seem to take it anymore that people take so long, beating around the bush just to say one funny silly thing which wasn't actually a big deal. Gawd. Anyways, like I said...it isn't the same anymore. I guess the day had to come when I couldn't take the pressure he was giving anymore. It's like the level of conversations he wants to have aren't the level of conversations I want to have anymore. I want something more....matured.

After coming to Singapore, after being pampered and looked after and, treated like a princess by Singaporean guys: I think I've had enough of this nonsense. Back home, all he did was practically live of the money I had. It's not that I'm now being mean or egoistic, now that I'm staying in Singapore but imagine this, I pay for his food, his transportation (driving around), his clothes and his lifestyle. Its not that I really count the things I do for him but, hello...reality check! He doesn't even think of working for the money!! I think I'm just frustrated.

Bah...

I think I just need a break from him for a while. Just yesterday, I called him upp. Usually he'll be the one talkng and me listening to everything he has to say about life and how it fucked up or it sucks real bad and stuf like that. But last night I just couldn't take it-got so frustrated as it was a long day for me at work..being the only full timer there besides Ian (another full timer who resigning end of this year) and he was off, so I was really tired with work and everything!-with how things were going so decided to let go of my strong personality and just express how I really felt, which was tired and sick of everything. He just couldn't take it and started to ask for a break. It's like... WTH?!

I'm there for him and he's like fucking me off in a way. It's like sometimes I think he doesn't even give a damn about me la....sighs. I'm confused now on what I should do. My heart's just......sighs.

Yomi.