I miss my mom. She came to visit just last week and I felt really bad that couldn't bring her around enough and my aunties had to do it. I was working the whole week although I was able to take a day off but it wasn't enough. In Singapore, 24hours seems so little..everything moves so fast that sometimes 48hours isn't eough either. I'm getting tired already..exhausted infact. I think its only the love I'm getting from him that's keeping me going on so far.

I really feel like crying already just thinking of it, not being able to bring mom around town. I don't only feel bad but I feel guilty. The guilt didn't hit me when she was around but it hit me when she left. The night after she left, I was on the phone with him and I just suddenly broke down and started crying on the phone with him. He, felt helpless instead.

I'm sorry babe, didn't mean to make you feel bad...
It's just that, I miss home so dearly =_________="

but the fact was that I realised again how much I missed her and how much she meant to me. I realise too that she's all I got in this world (bloodline)...although my step-dad is around but the closeness isn't there. If you adtually understand me. I just really don't understand why I can argue so much with her when I'm around her, when I love her so freaggin much! It's like I hate her yet the love I have for her which is so unexplainable. yet it can't be fully shown to her. I don't know how to show her all the love I've got for her?! (sighs) But, I messaged her that early morning (around 5am in the morning) and told her how much I missed her. I felt better after that but still cried myself to sleep. Hrmm....

"Home" by Micheal Buble

Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm

Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I’ve got to go home

Let me go home
I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
It’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
'Cause this was not your dream
But you always believed in me

Another winter day has come
And gone away
In even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home

And I’m surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
Oh, let me go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

Let me go home
I’ve had my run
Baby, I’m done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all be all right
I’ll be home tonight
I’m coming back home