oh bummer -____________-"
living this life kinda sucks from time to time.
living this life kinda sucks from time to time.
Anyways work has been kinda alright so far, although at times I do feel as though I could be doing better things with all my time and at times I do feel that I'm all alone, with no soul in sight to keep me company. I guess everyone goes through the same thing. you know, feel lonely. and another which is reserving and shopping has become kinda boring already. I guess once you get used to the environment, always being surrounded by clothes all the time, it just bores you out -_____-" lame right.
Imagine this, I went onto MNG today, cos they were having SALES! and guess what, I DIDN'T BUY ANYTHING!!!can you believe it O.O" omg. that's how bored I am. with clothes! :'( what's gonna make me happy now. retail therapy doesn't work anymore.
I don't know, recently all I have been doing these couple of weeks is just feel emo and think negative thoughts. It's just overwhelming me. that I can't think straight anymore. nothing in my life seems like a positive thing anymore.
I know, some of you may be thinking how negative I am. how unappreciative I am of life, of the things I have and of the people I have in my life. I know what I have and I'm grateful but somehow none of that seems to register in my head, or my heart. it's as though I'm just numbed with everything that has been happening that I just lost my senses.
and btw, I NEED A BOYFRIEND who's here. with me. not someone who's far away. yes, I'm saying that I cannot stand long distance relationship any longer. I'm just sick and tired of waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting till I grow old and die. tong tiau* -___________-"
but the thing is I'm wondering, am I ready for marriage? if I'll be a good enough wife, and mother. I already failed at being a good daughter and sister. what more to say when I enter motherhood and marriage. will I be an even bigger failure? I'm sorry if my recent posts have been very negative, it's just that alot of things have been going through my mind recently. I have to admit. I'm lost in this life. really lost. I don't know where I'm headed. I don't know what to do anymore.
I should have never been born. I was a mistake from the start. what should have I expected. if I was a mistake from the start. shouldn't everything I do from now on end up in a mistake? I'm a lost case some may say. and maybe they were right about me all these years. that I'll never amount up to anything good. everyone would be better off without me.
you know what, I think if I suddenly died or disappeared tomoro,
no one would care, notice, cry or mourn for me.
cos I'm nothing. I mean nothing. to myself. to anyone.
no one would care, notice, cry or mourn for me.
cos I'm nothing. I mean nothing. to myself. to anyone.
too bad I'm too much of a coward to take my own life.
cos this life doesn't seem worth to live for anymore.
full stop
cos this life doesn't seem worth to live for anymore.
full stop
Labels: emotional times, failure, negativity, unhappiness
"Coz you are the Brightest Star and I'm in love with who you are."
12:36 AM
12:36 AM
